Sexlife, Special Challenges

Some gay men and lesbians and bisexual people my have unique challenges as they age. For example some belief that the competition to be young, vital and attractive is more accurate in the gay world than it is for heterosexual people.

Im not happy with the way my **** has aged, it hangs lower than it used to. Everything just looks well old and it effects the way I am with my partner now. 

It's harder to find sexual parters now. I last lover was 15 years younger. He was a real wild man all emotional spirit a lot of a man. We were together for 6 years until he died of aids. He also was a terrible drug addict and smoked crack the time. I lived with him once he got sick. 

My cousin is 55. She's a lesbian and she was raised a strict Catholic. When she came out it attracted a lot of attention, because she's very Butch. She's a police officer. She came to visit me and brought her girlfriend. But recently she became 'born again'. Now she doesn't think of the self is gay even though she lives with a woman. She thinks she's given up lesbianism for good. She actually believes all that bullshit about gays going to hell. So she's trying to live the straight life before she dies. She's in denial about of sexuality. I don't think you can just walk away from being a lesbian. 

They can also be exceptional challenges for middle aged people living with physical or mental disability.

I'm bipolar and its been a problem all my life. It's tough when I have an episode to make the right decisions. There are lots of good ideas to go to bed with someone on now, but even at my age. I have to have ask someone to take care of me. That means at times I have to leave decisions about sexual appropriateness to someone else. Not fun for a 54 year old adult. 

When I ask about personal definitions of sexuality, people in their fifties suddenly seemed more resolved in their acceptance of that going on others sexual preferences are.

My definition would involve two people who are attracted to each other. Comfortable with themselves and their sexuality and interested in playing and finding what they like sexually. It would involve an exploration of each other's body. 

Dr Pamela Stephenson Connolly