Just when we thought we got it together, learned how to have sex with a partner and have some idea who we are sexually, we start facing challenges all kinds of nemeses dampen our fire. Children knocking at the door elderly parents requiring care, peri-menopause, (yes it really can begin and in our mid thirties) a sense that were not kids anymore.
By now we should be giving some thought to taking proper care of our sexual health.
Many people in their thirties of are in primary relationships for quite a few years, and this can mean being faced with the challenge of trying to keep our sex lives fresh and exciting. Some people in their thirties saw having to deal with certain sexual disorders such as low desire. No wonder there's a question on many people's lips is everyone having more sex than I am?
People desperately want to be 'normal' although as I've pointed out there is really no such thing. We should try not to compare ourselves to each other. What's normal for a mother and 2 young children. and an infant is probably having very little sex. She may not be enjoying it much when she does.
It was hard to keep my desires in check. I wanted to have sex when I wanted it, but there were the kids, that activities, our jobs constant juggling. I wanted it to be simple but this was not realistic. Less busy people in their 30's feel their sex lives need a bit of a boost may start searching for ways to enhance that. Perhaps trying out new erotic techniques, sex toys, a looking online for erotic stimulation.
Ok making whoopee doesn't necessarily require computer and the ability to type with your nose, but don't knock it till you've tried it.
For some the thirties is, or was a wonderfully exciting time for sex.
In my thirties I felt quite desirable and sensual. Sometimes I would make love to two different men in one day. It was in the 1970's, so there was the pill and UDI's. and before AIDS. So you had permission to do anything and everything whenever he wanted to. In those days I pretty much run by my sexual feelings. I didnt get married until I was 48.
This testimony illustrates very well why we cannot necessarily generalize and nature of people's sex lives in each decade. Because world history and social environment have such a huge influence. For example the arrival of the AID's crisis profoundly changed our sexuality making people far more cautious and less experimental.
I was in my thirties when the HIV/AID's scare started. I was terrified, and realized that the party was over. All that care free stuff you 'don't I care if you do it with' stuff I enjoyed for many years was suddenly over.
I was married then, in a monogamous relationship, but at that time there was so much conflicting information. Some people were saying HIV could be dormant from years ago, so you never knew who had it. Essentially made me scared of sex. I even made a fully faithful husband where condom.
Dr Pamela Stephenson Connolly
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